Sunnieros3

Heyy! Just wondering when your birthday is (if you're comfortable sharing)? I'm collecting them :))! (Also i scrolled through ur posts and saw ur rants and ik it was a while ago and tbh you probs don't even remember me but i'm here if you ever need to talk <3333 hope you're doing better <3333)

…wtf is happening?
          
          What Are We? was just deleted because it had ‘explicit content’
          
          …?
          
          Mind you, only that book got deleted
          
          It’s not even in my drafts it’s just GONE

GUYS I’M REPUBLISHING WHAT ARE WE ON VALENTINES DAY
          
          I’m thinking I change my update schedule to one update a week
          
          Meaning, one week will be The Secret We Swore
          
          And the next will be What Are We?

This one is not a rant, but an actual update <3
          
          So basically, I've decided to edit What Are We? to both make more sense and be a better read.
          
          I'm gonna try to have at least the first chapter published soon, probably not next week but I'll try.
          
          So anyone who like really liked the book and wanted to read it but I drafted it, you'll get to read a better version soon lol

Life update (TW: sh and suicide): Part 3
          
          Not to mention, my ex (we’re still good friends, ended on good terms) wants to get back together but they’re the one who broke it off (on my mom’s birthday after the passing, when I was having a pretty good night and listening to one of my favorite songs) and they’re kinda acting like nothing’s really changed and I don’t like that because pretty much everything changed and my cousin says not to trust them but they’re my first real rls and I still really like them just not in the same way as I used to
          
          And I don’t know what to do and I think I’m having a panic attack just thinking about all of this and I’m trying not to cry because I fucking hate crying and I’ve done way too much of it today, and all I want to do is see them again because they meant the world to me and I never got to tell them that and I regret it every day 
          
          But the only way I’d get to see them again is if I killed myself and I made a stupid promise not to and even if I hadn’t I’m a fucking coward and I can’t leave my cousin alone because without me she’d have no one and she would probably follow me and I can’t let her do that
          
          She’s just a kid
          
          …so anyway, yeah
          
          That’s how life’s going for me :,]
          
          Three parts, dam
          
          Uhh anyway thx for reading if you did, umm
          
          Yeah that’s it ig
          
          Bye-bye

Life update (TW: sh and suicide): Part 2
          
          And I have shit to do this weekend but I can’t get anything done if I’m just rotting away in bed but that’s all I feel like doing
          
          Like the thought of getting up in the morning, getting on the bus, and being at school for 7-8 hours makes me want to bawl my eyes out and throw up
          
          Repeatedly
          
          And I feel like such shit, because ppl are relying on me to do shit this weekend and to be the one they can vent to and the one who’s always okay
          
          And my mom doesn’t understand even if she says she does but she really fucking doesn’t because she’s not hurting herself, she’s not starving herself or isolating herself and she’s just doesn’t get it no matter how much she tries
          
          And I love her for trying
          
          But I’m not fucking okay and it’s killing me
          
          And I can’t really talk to anyone about it irl because no one knows I cut, and if they did they’d start treating me differently and that’s something I’d rather die than endure

Life update (TW: sh and suicide): Part 1
          
          To anyone who cares, because everyone ik is unavailable rn and I need to rant </3
          
          (Omg bringing back the rants lol)
          
          For starters, I lost someone extremely close to me this past summer (in May, actually) and I’m only really processing it rn
          
          And it’s hitting me especially hard today for some reason
          
          It started off like an okay day but somewhere along the way, I just felt like total shit
          
          I think it’s because today was my first day back at school after like a week of absence (I got sick then I got depressed, what can you do)
          
          But when I got in the car to go home I kinda just started crying and I haven’t really stopped tbh
          
          I took a nap and I kid you not I bawled my eyes out when I woke up and idek why
          
          Honestly I think it’s because I wish I hadn’t woken up. 
          
          But anyway, I kept myself distracted with some stuff for a while but when I was getting ready for bed I started sobbing
          
          Like, ugly cry, hyperventilating sobbing
          
          And I looked at myself in the mirror and I kinda just froze
          
          Because I don’t feel good in any way, and all I want is to just feel okay, at the very least
          
          So I kinda sorta relapsed (barely a month btw-)
          
          And I hate how it didn’t hurt
          
          Like I feel numb and I fucking hate it
          
          I want to feel something other than numbness and sadness, but atp not even my friends make me happy
          
          At least not for long, anyway

So...
          
          I changed my mind about switching accounts because no one was really reading it on my other account.
          
          Because I don't use my other account all that often, there was less interactions and therefore less people would see it.
          
          At least I think that's how it works.
          
          Anyway, I published my book here.
          
          I also may or may not have a really nice surprise planned for Christmas :) 
          
          Can't wait to get your reaction to what I have planned!!
          
          'Kay, that's all.
          
          Bye ya'll

Dam, it’s been a really long time since I’ve been in contact here, huh?
          
          Anyway, I’m switching accounts. 
          
          I’m not deleting this account though, I’ve made too much progress. 
          
          So, here’s what’s going to happen. 
          
          I’m going to write all of my fan fiction on this account, but on the other account I’m going to write my original stories. 
          
          I might be more active on the other account, but I will also try to be more active here too. 
          
          Basically, just a heads up from me :)
          
          Okay, now everybody go follow @SomeWeirdRandomBitch for me, thanksss

You know, I never understood the hype with crying in the shower until tonight
          
          A shower cry sounds perfect rn