For a long time I didn't view myself as something was wrong with me in terms of sexuality but, I have been told throughout my life that I'm just mentally still a little girl. That lots of girls and women "feel that way" when it comes to my very low and lack of sexual attraction.
I rarely have crushes. The first time I did I was older and it faded out "fast". I love romance and the idea of having a relationship one day but, I don't feel a pull towards people in real life. In the media I consumed it's all aesthetic for me as I come to realise.
After years of questioning I have come to terms with the thing I could never name and brushed away. I'm Demisexual. Nothing was wrong with me. I am just demi. For long I was just staring at the label dismissing it and coming back to. The pattern repeated until recently when one of my Best Friends confronted me.
She asked if I was gay and at that moment I finally decided to admit the truth. That I'm actually Demi. She accepted me and asked questions but, talking and explaining my feelings it really just affirmed why I believe I'm Demi.
I'm sitting with discomfort and the peace that came with finally coming to terms with it. I'm glad my friend asked. I'm glad she accepted me. It's the push I needed to finally accept myself.
This is me and I'm learning to embrace it. So I'm trying to break the discomfort of naming it by saying it more. I probably will delete this post later but, for now this is my next step breaking away from the shame and fear I have.
