Swampy

Yes I am still hurting but I just want to let it out to everyone

They dont care
          They only entertain you
          And there you went again and dragged me into your arms that trapped me and strangles me into your submission. My last update that time I tried to send out a message about what was going on because a part of me wanted to scream at anyone who cared to help me to tell me I was worth something. But you did something. 
          
          You came to me upset about some tedious thing and harshly bit down on my neck that i had thought you drawn blood. But you did more than that you managed to beat me hurt me and beat me to a pulp that i decided against it because once again I heard your words. 
          
          I left wattpad out of my own fear that if you found out about this safeheaven you would rip it away from me. So i had to sadly not post a message saying I would be going on a Haitus. 
          
          When I decided enough was enough i brought my friend along because deep down in my skin i had a feeling that if i went to that place alone you would have killed me and then who would tell the world. 
          
          You started a fight with him.
          
          Now i do not know.where you are you said you moved and that you hoped I could forgive you but i donnot trust your lies. You fed me negativity and i donnot doubt that you could have killed me had I not gotten out. 
          
          I know you will see this because you knew about this..but I release you may you never hurt anyone anymore. 
          
          Gene I am truly truly sorry that I was not enough
          
          And as for you guys im sorry i never came clean
          (3/3)

This wasnt love either. He told me he loved me. This isnt love. He would have killed me no doubt had he gotten angry enough. He told me I wasnt worthy of loving anyone. Maybe I wont love anyone maybe it would have been better to stay with him.
          
          I wasnt happy. So when i left I was left thinking. What if I'm not meant to love anyone what if I'm not meant to be with anyone? Was he right? No of course not. But I left a relationship so heartbreaking so horrid that I was left wondering. 
          
          But the thing is im not stupid like he said. I'm not an idiot I'm not a miserable piece of shit that depends on him . I dont need him. I dont need him to haunt me. I dont need to wake up at night because I feel trapped in his arms ag
          
          There was a time where you stopped me from doing the one thing i felt safe enough to do and that was when I was writing my stories. I felt happy i felt like i valued to people but there you went again. 
          (2/3)

I wanted to say this for a long long time. As some of you or most of you know I stopped posting or updating old fanfiction and i want to explain what happened. The simple fact of the matter is I cant go into just a short summary i think I need to let ot out scream it out and let myself let that be the past
          
          To be truthful with everyone I dont date
          
          Yet I still dated like any other person because i thought maybe i just needed to see what i had been interested in. 
          Truth of the matter was i shouldnt have done that and now I know from this mistake. I shouldnt have i should have just stayed a small creator on this platform. 
          
          My first relationship ended well we still remain friends and constantly have little dates even though he is engaged and happily living with his boyfriend. Yet i knew I didnt truly love him
          
          My second relationship ghosted me for a year and she was a wild card. Lovely yet horrid. I knew I didnt love her
          
          My third relationship was all but support and almost like schoolyard fun. We were chasing dreams that never happened and we both knew. Hes still friends and he and my first relationship are happy together. I knew he and i were more best friends.
          
          My last and fourth relationship was forced. It was all forceful everything yet there still had morals to know I wasnt ready for a kiss i wasnt ready for sex. Nights would be tough 
          Days would be hell. Every day it was some new pain. Every day was like hell on earth. He hurt me he beat me he almost killed me. 
          
          (1/3)

CHA CHA CHA

Why must I be hurt this way 

Murky waters zene [ Zane x Gene] 
          To the answer to your question it because he get snappy and a lot of grunge and anger so they made him into a crab that like shiny things XD 

I do like garmau but I love Larroth/Garrence MY SHIP WILL SAIL

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          Please sign this petition

@Swampy-Squid this is true. People does that, and act like everything’s okay. Even try to get someone that looks like you as replacement. It’s crazy and stupid