Hey guys, i want to share something personal today. I’m not someone who trusts easily. Because of my past, it’s really hard for me. But when i do trust someone, I love them deeply & genuinely want the best for them. In my school life, i was bullied a lot. People used me and still called me their "friend". I believed them every time. It got so bad that I fell into depression. I was a topper but i was so scared of them that i couldn’t even go to school on my final exam day. That phase broke me. Later, in my graduation 2-3 year, I found a group of friends who truly cared for me. I'm so quiet that time. But they taught me how to laugh again, how not everyone is bad. I felt lucky for the first time. I loved them so much & still do. Now in post-graduation, i’m living with one of those friends. I thought i was safe again. But today something happened that brought all my past trauma back. I felt like I was back in school again. I realized that maybe the things people said about her, were true. I didn’t want to believe it before but now it hurts. It feels like betrayal.I don’t like hurting people, so I always stay quiet and hurt myself instead. Not because I’m weak but because I don’t want to create problems for others around me. My mind is overthinking everything right now, especially with my final semester coming. I’ve been crying quietly because I’m scared someone will call me a crybaby. I want to update Chamma story, i really do but right now, I’m too emotional. I can’t focus on studies either. I have a fever, cold & I miss my home, my mom and my comfort my room. Being in a hostel makes it harder. I feel exhausted, mentally and emotionally. But I also know, not everyone is the same.
