SxC1519

YEAH YOU THINK IM CRAZY… YOU THINK I’M GONE.

I’m losing friends and so many people becsuse they think I’m crazy because of you 

I’ve been keeping this inside for so long.. But I rather say Wveyrthing before I leave.. I’m dead now I’m nothing left 

To my mother 
          Do you know how close I was to killing you.. you have no fucking idea.. it was one night I was so fucking close I planned everyhting.. But when I entered your room and saw you sleeping.. I didn’t do it and I had such a good chance.. i couldn’t do it.. why you fucking asshole?! Bevause no body fucking desevres to die.. and don’t you understand your killing me inside.. so stop it 

To my bitch mother / “you taken my life from me and ruined Wveyrthing for me.. from growing up as a child to now growing up as a teen.. you know how bad it destroys me to see other girls with friends and living normally. But I’m still trying to stay strong but why? For what? I’m the on urge of ending mtself and end rhis pain and misery.
          I don’t want revenge on you I don’t want any of that.. I want you to leave me alone 

I’m tired of this world.. mikayla is my only hope to go on right now. My future is in her heart.. and she knows that.. the light fades from the dark when she leaves me… I just miss her snd wish to hear her soon. So can’t keep going by myself 

To my mother—
          
          And guess what I love that mental hospital.
          Thank you for putting me there.. it was a relief to my mind.. I could listen to music freely.. I could rest in peace at night… I had a roommate to talk to.. I cluld say and do as I wish not worrying about you.. I actually loved my roommate I always think about her.. She was 36.. but it was the first time I spoke to some one in real life and had fun wirh them.. It was so nice.. J never felt stuff like that before and I long for it again.

To my mother—
          
          And you think you can manipulate me with your sick ways.. talk about sick punishments.. talk about what love is and how I gotta be obedient to you.. yes eveyr child has to be obedient to their parents.. but not how you say.. Just leave me the fuck alone ypur controlling mother fucker sick bitch.. you wanna put me in a mental hospital when you really need it yourself. Fucking god.. I’m sick of you I could go on and on about you..
          But I can’t.. I feel like ending mtself right now.. I bet you would love to see that.. I bet you’re waiting for that moment.. just to see me out of your life..
          I wish you could be a women I call my mother and not my enemy.. 

To my mother- 
          
          You are a bitch.. you are a sucker.. you are a loser.. your are a whore.. you are a slut.. you are a fucking coward.. you are weak.. ylu nothing..you are shit.. you are like dirt.. acruallt talking about dirt.. isnt you Remmeber when the bastard was like to my therapist.. I do so much for this girl and she treats me like dirt.. well fuck I do treat you like dirt..
          You wanna talk about me treating you like dirt..
          Maybe first list down eveyr reason why I treat you like that.. 
          and the fact that you say you love me infront of people and you even fucking cry.. your fucking sick.. oyu love me ? Huh ylu fucking love me? Tell me that to my fucking face when it’s just me and you.. tell me it go ahead.. you know what I think you mean by love..
          
          I think you fucking mean wanting to send me off with him for days.. you know what the fuck would’ve happened.. I never fucking would’ve returned.. and I hate to say rhis but I made my sisters and brother suffer because of your ass.. just not to leave off with him.. my sister cried when I away for a month.. you took me away from her.. I was rude I was nasty with her for awhile bevause I was sick of your as I was depressed.. you are the fucking blame not me.. you made my sisters cry because of your ass.. and then you wanna fucking talk about me 

I can’t do this anymore.. Fucking hell..
          To my mother-
          
          It feels good to talk to you, words rhat I been wanting to say to your fucking face, and let everyone see it… there has only been one time Ive slapped you across the face.. and I have to say.. that was da’am good.. you know how fortunate I was.. my therapist was there otherwise I would’ve been done. It’s funny how you’re such a coward amongst others.. but behind the walls of our house ypur a fucking creep and you are fucking sick. And although I may not say every thing about you online not Bevause I’m scared o you cuz I’m not.. I know just how weak of a bitch you are.. but there are certain things people cant talk about it.. it’s shameful.. it’s hard to talk of..
          
          But I swear if it wasn’t for that I would curse your ass of Wveyrthing you do online.. I’m not done writing to you