Sylphan

If tomorrow started without me, would you still smile at yesterday?

intoxicating_souls

HEYIEEEE 
          HOW YOU DOINGGGG??

intoxicating_souls

@Sylphan ohhh!! Ik you'll do great haha✨
            And yeah thanks I'll try to be confident TT
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Sylphan

@intoxicating_souls the building part is a bitc but yeah it is pretty cool. Be confident
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intoxicating_souls

@Sylphan thermal camera? Woah- sounds cooooollll!!
            
            Yeah right- 2025- no idea how things will turn out- TT
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Sylphan

Calamity's blessing
          
          A man in calamity,
          Mind in captivity.
          Solace nowhere to be found,
          Here there all round.
          Efforts in vanity,
          Gradully fading vitality. 
          Acceptance is a blessing,
          Don’t know just guessing.
          The brutality of mortality, 
          Living a life of duality. 
          Are lies really crappy?
          If everyone is happy.
          Totality of his depravity,
          His misery a triviality. 
          Whats the point of not smiling, 
          When your death you’re dialing.
          Misery slaughtering barbarity,
          Happiness seeking mentality. 
          Ignore your problems with distractions, 
          And lament over your perception.
          The man smiles in calamity,
          The finest of insanity.

Sylphan

this message may be offensive 
Someone else's place
          
          I get used as a replacement,
          For something out of reach.
          My time is short lived,
          Just waiting to be ditched.
          
          
          She loves him more,
          I knew this for a  while.
          But still hurts to see,
          Whilst maintaining a smile.
          
          She's crying on me,
          Tears for someone afar.
          And i doubt she knows,
          Tis not a body but a scar.
          
          She screams on me,
          And complains to him.
          When her work is done by me,
          Till the light goes dim.
          
          She wants me to be,
          Someone that I'm not.
          His labels pushed on me,
          Sent 'my personality' to rot.
          
          I want to tell her,
          That i too have dreams.
          But how could I do that,
          When i hear her silent screams.
          
          Why can't you be like himz
          It's so fucking obvious,
          Because I'm not him,
          But to that you're oblivious.
          
          I feel my vision fading,
          And i feel my veins glistening,
          In this transformation,
          I feel my soul splitting.
          
          He tells me to handle her,
          Problems big or acute,
          He knows not that I,
          Am just a substitute.
          
          He asks me what happened,
          And i reply with silence.
          Never will i tell him,
          My  inevitable subsidence.
          
          This time will come to a close,
          no replacement will i be,
          He'll come back and everything i did,
          forgotten by all 'cept me.
          
          I wonder if she ever,
          Saw me like at all,
          Or was I just a interim,
          Whilst waiting for the call.
          
          I'm sorry for existing,
          To be there to fill the space.
          If i wasn't there,
          I know there never would've been the empty place.
          
          So maybe I'm the problem,
          And I should stop feeling heavy,
          Maybe It's my duty to,
          Fill in the cavity.
          
          Maybe it's the entire,
           purpose that I serve,
          To cover  the violin,
          Maybe that's all i deserve.
          
          I feel like thinking,
          On this topic for to long,
          Is gonna drive me crazy,
          So let's save it for a rainy song.
          
          I value her to much,
          To say this to her face,
          So continue killing myself to,
          Fill someone else's place.

Sylphan

@intoxicating_souls I didn't reply to this because i don't want it to be known but there's really nothing i can do about it. That someone needs me to live and to some extent so do I so thanks for writing such a heartfelt message for me and sorry ❤️
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intoxicating_souls

@Sylphan I know I really shouldn't but I can completely relate to the emotions evoked by this poem- 
            AND IF This poem is a reflection of some of your life EXPERIENCES- 
            I feel sorry really 
            
            I know all too well what it's like to let someone else take the lead role in your own life. I did that once, and it damaged me deeply. I got so caught up in them that I lost sight of who I was and what I wanted- Every "I"'s of my life were replaced by "You"s (that person)...
            
            Now, I realize that I need to take back that central position. This is my life, and I'm the main character here... No one else should have that role. It's still hard to fully let go, because this person was my whole world for so long. But I know I have to do it for my own future.
            
            Your poem struck such a deep chord with me because it captures that struggle so perfectly. I'm grateful you were able to put those feelings into words. Just know that you're not alone... and that you have the power to reclaim your life. Don't let anyone else steal the spotlight - it's your story to write <3
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