SynaMayWrite

No babyy i have never ever been in lovee  never had a true love but now reading all your experiences and specially ur I don't have faith in love even before trying these toxic people make it so difficult to love again  I am so scared to even love someone bcz of these things I am a very sensitive and emotional person this type of heartbreak will actually make me a living hell bcz I know i wouldn't be able to handle it so plz this type of love never find me 
          And urr so brave baby i am so proud of u ur fighting it trying to move on that's the first step I hope eventually u will come out of it plz bcz of some dickhead don't let urself bleed be strong 
          I just want his address so I can break his bones or just kill him it breaks my heart when the kindest and the purest souls have to face this type of heartbreak like wthh is even our fault only that we loved someone truly and the other person just played us cheated on us and if this long relationship doesn't work out then what will it's so fucking difficult to overcome over a fucking 10 yr relationship butt plzz babbyyy tryy too be stronggg I know it will take time but plzzz don't lose hope I am always there for u all your gfs are there for you and we lovee uu too the moon and back and we mean it unlike some aashole  I am very proud of youuu ur the strongest mannn I have ever knoww
          LOVEEEE YOUUU A LOTTT kissesss naddd hugsss for youu babyyboyyyy ♥️♥️

Yes, I have been in love. I loved with all my heart... I gave my all but it still wasn't enough.
          He knew my weaknesses, my insecurities, and my secrets... and in the end, he used every single one of them against me and somehow blamed me for everything.
          The funny part is, I wasn't even the one who wanted a relationship in the beginning. But now I'm the one left with nothing. I still haven't been able to move on. He moved on so quickly and dated several other girls after me(even while he was with me)—while I'm still stuck with the memories of what we had. It's been three years, and I'm still not ready to give anyone a chance.
          I'm not able to trust anyone anymore. I don't have the courage to love someone again. I'm scared to trust, and I'm even scared to make the first move on someone. It hurts so fuckin much. Love can be the most beautiful thing but when it ends...it can be just as painful.
          I don't want to go through those anxiety attacks again... the tightness in my chest, the knot in my stomach whenever those memories come back. I don't know if I'll ever be able to love someone the way I loved him or if I'll ever find love again.....

Baby boy about true love...idk actually...I have never loved someone after that friend of mine(the best friend I told you about) and if you ask that whether it was true love or just an attraction...idk but honestly not just attraction! definitely not just that...I only know that I had fallen for him...really badly and it was one sided *sigh* but all of this doesn't even matter now...I still remember how I used to be when we broke up I mean our friendship when our friendship broke...I used to cry every night..every single fucking night! For straight two months..used to be depressed at a point I even stopped talking (and I am a talkative person), used to force a laugh when someone tried to make me feel better...huh stupid! I was so fucking stupid! Sacrificed my own happiness for someone who didn't even care before walking away from me..the very person with whom he used to share every single fucking laugh, every fucking second of his life.

Chaaa dayummm, baby boy is hot when he’s angry! 
          
          
          This butterfly of yours will never be your friend too. 
          
          I am your mommy, baby boy 
          
          Alexa, play “Fri(ends)” by V
          
          About love? I've never been in love with one person the way you describe, the soul-consuming/ gut wrenching kind. 
          
          And I don't think I ever want a kind of love that makes me lose myself.
          It's not hate. I'm not bitter, and I'm definitely not a coward.
          
          I just love differently.
          
          I love beautiful sunsets, a hot cup of coffee, art that brings me peace, my family and friends, the cutest puppies, and music that makes my whole day better.
          
          I love peace. I've never been someone who enjoys chaos, so I don't understand making one person the center of my whole world.
          
          There's so much in life to love. So many people, places, moments, and little things that make life beautiful. I don't want to give every piece of my heart to one person and make them responsible for all of it.
          
          If love ever finds me, I hope it's the kind that adds to my life, not the kind that asks me to forget who I am.
          
          ~ that’s the end of my podcast

Yes, I have been in love, like truly in love. In fact, I still am. I have never written this anywhere else and since you asked and because this is hidden, I'm telling you. But most likely after some time I will still delete this.
          So..I don't know how to explain this, but I have known him for a long time, and he is a really very good person. When I was a child, I used to make fun of him in a very childish way, and he was always considerate towards me. As I got to know him better, I simply fell in love. I didn't even realize it until it was too late (I was very young too). Sometimes, I would just gaze blankly at him and do stupid things. Other people noticed it too.
          But by the time I fell in love with him, he was already married to a real goddess. I'm not kidding if I were a lesbian I would probably have fallen in love with her too. At first, I was like extremely jealous of her, but slowly I came to understand her as well. She is the one for him.
          I knew that, and at the time, it hurt so much. I cried like..I can't even explain it. I literally felt the stabbing pain in my heart that people describe in novels. I kept thinking, "How is this even possible? And I'm a very logical person, okay?
          Later, I tried to distract myself and discover new things about myself, but all of this affected my studies.
          Over time, I accepted that he truly loves her. I learned that loving someone isn't what hurts what hurts is refusing to accept reality and our expectations. Acceptance comes with time, and eventually, love becomes a part of you.
          Loving him made me a better and more mature person. Through loving him, I slowly learned to love myself more. I realized that I can love someone deeply and still not be with them. Simply loving him is enough.

No darling, I've never been in love. You might find it weird, but I think love is a waste of time. It's only beautiful in fiction , in reality, it's a big no for me.
          
          I'm the type to have little crushes and then forget about them. Sometimes I just sit there thinking, What the fuck am I even? 
          
          But you my boy, should get some rest now. Go to sleep and stop thinking about that bastard (because that's exactly what he is).
          
          You have so many people who genuinely care about you.
          
          You have us. You can talk to any one of us, whenever you need to.
          
          My boy. Sleep tight. Lots of LOVE ❤️❤️❤️

Well I don't know when you'll open instagram so here I am ..... can't help myself 
          First of all Sleep okayyy... we'll wait for the chapter but sleep you pretty dork ...
          
          And to answer your question about having that soul crushing love .....No baby i never had that kind of love nopee .....i never had the kind of love that leaves someone breathless, makes me lose my appetite, leaves my whole body tingling, makes my stomach churn...No .
          
          Well you see I was a total outcast till high school...and when I gained some confidence I spent most of my time studying.....i was never in a relationship because I never felt that soul tearing bond and I didn't believe having a namesake relationship.....but I do wanna feel that kind of love once ...but not the heartbreak (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)
          
          I can't relate to you baby and I can't understand the pain you are holding within yourself love and i know it won't hurt less if I say so but please be strong baby ❤️
          
          You know if someone makes you feel insecure and worthless... makes you doubt yourself they don't deserve the love....they don't deserve the one who loves them whole heartedly (⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠)
          I hate that man now <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>
          
          
          But I love you baby i genuinely do so please be strong ❤️

Ohhh fvkk i literally wrote a long ass paragraph for like 10 minutes but this asshole Wattpad *bangs my head on the table* .....
          I'll be on Instagram baby 

*clears throat* okay so that was kinda my sweet revenge baby cuz you forgot girlfriend's day... but omg I am fucking sorry bab-- daddy...I swear I didn't mean to upset you (╥﹏╥) I was just trying to be playful :( 
          
          Daddy is going to forgive me right? Or Am I getting a punishment? 

Broo wthh is wrong with Wattpad my msgg aree not going ahhh