I dont know what im doing. I should feel sad, but i dont. Someday, a random day it will come crashing down onto me. Shes dead. I still have not realised it. She died many years ago i still remember i forced myself to cry so i dind‘t look heartsless. Of course im sad but not as sad as i think im supposed to be. Its late i should go to bed. When im reunited with my laptop a can actually update „the world i want to live in“