I'm Prison Mike.

•Commonly asked questions•

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Q- What'd you do, Prison Mike?

A- I stole and I robbed and I kidnapped the president's son and held him for ransom.


Q- What was the food like in prison?

A- Gruel sandwiches. Gruel omelettes. Nothing but gruel. Plus, you can eat your own hair.


Q- What's the very, very worst thing about prison?

A- The worst thing about prison was the... was the Dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and then they'd come down and they'd suck the soul out of your body and it hurt!