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I don't wanna go there.. I never thought I will be afraid of a house that I call home.. I wanna stay here. With the only two people that will understand me and a great little cousin who even though is a trouble maker still love me.. Now, even thinking about that house scares me.. Why God? Why? Why did u give me that family.. U want this life to be a dream.. I want to believe this is all a dream and when I wake up tomorrow I will be with my real family that will understand me... But I know, I know that it is not true.. I know I will wake up tomorrow and be with my shitty family I grown to love. I want to get away from here.... Want to stay anywhere but here... The worse thing is I don't have anyone that let's me cry on there shoulder, I don't have any person to truly understand me, No one and I mean no one knows the real me, no one knows I'm insecure and I long for love and affection.. Why will I think about anything I say to a person in front of me when no one cares about there words will hurt me or not? Why should I care then? But I still do cuz I fucking love them even, even when they do these all things to me I still fucking love them.. Why? I just want a family who understands me.. U don't even want them to love me I just want them to understand me.. I'm sorry if i wasted your time by reading this rant but I just needed to get things out of my heart . And remember no matter how hard things get plz stay strong... I love u