I’m going through a really tough time right now and feel like I have no one to share what I’m feeling with. I just need someone to listen so I can feel even a little bit calm.
I became friends with a guy when I joined my new college, and we shared so many good memories. Over time, I started developing feelings for him. I knew it could ruin our friendship, but I decided to tell him anyway. Looking back, I realize it might have been a mistake. He didn’t acknowledge my feelings, and he has this habit of giving me silent treatment when he’s upset. Still, he agreed that we shouldn’t let this ruin our friendship.
I tried to let go of my feelings because it was my first love and my first rejection. Then, after three months, we joined a class together, and I noticed some changes—he started being more affectionate, pampering me, and giving me attention. I thought I was imagining things, but later he confessed that he had feelings too. I was overjoyed. But we decided to stay friends because we didn’t want to risk losing the friendship if a relationship didn’t work out.
For one month, I experienced some of the happiest moments of my life with him. But then he changed again, becoming distant. I wasn’t prepared for this because I had grown used to his affection. I got anxious and asked him if his feelings had changed. He didn’t give a clear answer but said he couldn’t be serious. I know I should prioritize my self-respect, but I was too involved in him, and it hurts deeply.
I understand his choice, but I can’t stop thinking about those beautiful days and the butterflies he gave me. I don’t know how to move on.
Now I feel like someone like me doesn’t deserve love.