Temp

Thank you, I appreciate it^^

@cj_spencer im surprised that you are here and yes I did like it

Final Thoughts:
            Your story is gripping and well-executed, showcasing Luca’s intelligence and resourcefulness. With some refinements in sentence flow, tension, and minor grammatical fixes, it will read even more smoothly. Keep up the great work! 

@TIMEMASTER101 Your story is well-structured, immersive, and action-packed. You’ve captured Luca Ferranti’s cunning, resourcefulness, and determination while delivering a compelling mix of strategy, world-building, and tension. Here are a few points to consider for improvement:  
            
            Strengths:
            ✅ Engaging Narrative: The mix of first-person perspective and classified log format makes it feel personal and intense.  
            ✅ Strong Characterization: Luca’s intelligence, pragmatism, and defiance are clear. He’s a human surviving in a world ruled by mana, which makes him unique.  
            ✅ Well-Paced Action: The buildup to the trap, the moment the Wraith Panther triggers it, and the final takedown are well-paced and satisfying.
            
            Areas for Improvement:  
            Sentence Flow & Repetition: Some sentences repeat the same idea. Example:  
               - _"The key to killing something that doesn't want to be caught is understanding its patterns."_  
               - _"Over the past ten days, I had mapped its movements, tracked its feeding habits, and analyzed the reports of survivors."_  
               - Consider merging or rewording to reduce redundancy.  
            
             More Tension & Emotion: While Luca is pragmatic, a bit more tension or personal stakes could make his victories feel more rewarding. Maybe a slight injury or an unexpected challenge before the kill

@TIMEMASTER101 I have comment it in your story timemaster

@TIMEMASTER101 alright thank you

@austin333lee that's good thanks and it's just getting started it takes time

@austin333lee well, I can't say it's perfect, but i still like your overlord fanfic.

@Temp942 Yay

@MikaelcarloTia Yay