Hi. Really enjoyed My Human Mate.
You were asking for comments so I wanted to pass on my thoughts. Honestly this has the basics of a very creative and intriguing story. The storyline you have is great but if you really want to lift it to a higher level it’s the detail that seems missing. For example if I compare to an experienced high quality author, your story is almost like a quick summery. It’s like it’s missing all the padding needed to total engross a reader into the world you’ve created and that needs detail. Everything that happened was great for a storyline outlining but all happened to quick. The first few chapters I would have expected to get to know more about her, her physical features, personality, her day to day life routine, including the nasty local boys trying to marry her, plus the detailed relationship with her blind friend - what secrets they share, hobbies, does Ellie teach her fight skills etc. Then more drama and emotions around leaving her bakery that she so skilled at (how did her high skills develop-grandma perhaps? And being taken to a castle. Honestly putting yourself in her shoes how scared, vampires, hate and loneliness and loathing toward her partner at first. She wouldn’t want anything to do with him. It’s a new world so he has to win her over and then explain all the details of Vampires to her plus princess etiquette and roles. Hope this helps. It’s literally like you’ve skimmed the surface but there are so many possibilities for what detailed conversation, encounters with jealousy brothers, private thoughts and dealing with emotions, trying to escape to say bye to Ellie??? Etc. I thoroughly enjoyed but it’s a bit like watching a trailer to a movie and has the reader itching for more.
Well Done though. You definitely have talent, just expand more and this could be a Very high level professional book!
