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This aint a vent, but it's deep so tw i guess :3
Towards the end of january, I was nearing my limits in every way one could. There was a lot on my plate, and since my Russian teacher is one of my biggest triggers and he did something, it just pushed me over the edge. I tried to overdose, which obviously got me into the mental hospital.
The stay there was surprisingly fun, I found my group of people there too, and we're still in contact. When I got out, my mental health just got bad again, even though (as weird as it sounds) I thrived in there. Back then, I believed I wasn't meant to survive that.
I am a huge believer of everything happens for a reason, but I wasn't thinking about that then.
It's funny how we only think about things when it's convenient.
I see now, maybe I was meant to live through that. Maybe me dying was just not in the books for the universe.
Seasonal depression and BPD is no joke, but I find it incredibly weird how the moment it turned spring I immediately got better.
It's a never ending cycle every year, spring is healing, summer is healed, and then it's immediately back to getting worse again in fall, then sick and absolutely unhelpable in winter.
But I'm glad that it's spring again, and maybe this year I'll maintain this happiness in winter too.
Anyhow, take a shit before the shit takes you