ThatSoundsWrong
Dear Nicole,
I was wandering around with my magical wand of wonder and I wondered when you'll finish writing that wonderful chapter of yours. IT'S BEEN TWO FUGGING MONTHS YOU GODFORSAKEN BUFFOON. I was thinking about replacing you with an actual buffoon 'cause you were too much of a buffoon to actually be my buffoon.
Sincerely,
The Fishy o