Listen, I know this is probably none of your business or it just seems really stupid to let strangers know... but I just know that, when I get older, it will be harder for me to express what I’m feeling. Heck, the profession I want to go into requires me to be numb to anything and everything. So, I just want to let this out.
Currently, in my life at this moment, I’m facing so many life changing decisions. It all connects with my future, my education, and my relationships. Till this day I have a hard time saying what I want. I want to like someone, I want someone, but I can’t trust their words that they want me back, I’m scared of heartbreak (I know, it’s stupid.). I want to stay at this school, but I also feel like I need to move away and go in the right direction again. I want this future profession that I’m going into, but I’m also afraid of the 12 years of school and having to shut down the remaining of my feelings that I barely have. I want to bleed out to someone, I want to tell someone about what I want, what I feel, what I need.
I need to verbally say what I want without any regrets, I want to be confident in what I choose, I want to figure things out for myself and make my own decisions. But even right now, as I’m typing this, I can’t name to you the things I want.
