Oh...it looks as though you've stumbled upon my FABULOUS ACCOUNT.
You cease to understand the blessing that has stumbled upon your petty shoulders.
I am Elven King Thranduil, Of The Almighty Woodland Realm. 

I would leave it at that, but I suppose I shall climb into deeper specifics of my fabulous life.

I am not only King Of The Woodland Realm, but the King of every single party. In Middle-Earth, you may not call anything a party if I am not among it.

 My hair will be more beautiful then anything that has ever laid upon anything ever. 

I have a rather large hatred for dwarves, and can you blame me? They are a filthy race, with their grime, and mud, and boisterous ways.
 Not to mention their...beards. By my beautiful ways how do you keep a fluffy rat stuck to your face wherever you roam? Disgusting. 

 I have a son, known as Legolas Greenleaf. Someday he may be as beautiful as me.
Pfffft, who am I kidding? No one will ever be- 
I love my son...
He may not be as...beautiful, as me, but he is still charming. He is skilled in bow, yes. And um...he makes rather nice tea...and uh-

Now back to me! 
 I love tea, and crowns, and insulting dwarves. 
So um...is it proper to end it now? 
Yes...yes it is.
Its been nice...peasants. *cough*
Farewell!