Hey there, stranger,

In case you're the tiniest bit curious about the person behind the keyboard, I decided that a few introductory details might benefit you, or scar you for life. 

For starters, I'm an absolute mess of a person, hopefully, in a way that will eventually be labeled as sexy and score me a hot piece of ass. Worst case scenario I end up a prude, lonely little virgin in a closet sized apartment with a lot of cats. Obviously that's just a formality, I'll definitely score myself some ass and some cats.
 
Procrastinator, filthy liar, and inappropriately forward. The words previously mentioned are just a few ways to describe me. I'd like to believe I'm more marketable if I imply that I have what you would call a 'unique' sense of humor, but only the select few can make it passed my awkward introductory phase. Although, I'm not sure if qualifies more as phase, or an actually trait. Oops?
Speaking of phases, that brings me to my next one.

I'm what you could call temperamental. I could be in the table flipping, bitch slapping, nut-busting mood. I could be in the winning smile, happy-go-lucky, forgive and forget mood. Or, I could be in the tearful, victimizing, stare-at-the-ceiling-and-contemplate-the-meaning-of-life mood. There's nothing in between. I suppose caffeine doesn't help much either. 

Do I sound like the kind of person to hide your kids from yet? If not, you should hide your kids anyways, I hate children. 
 
As you may have noticed by the state of my introduction, I'm horrible at beginnings, along with middles and endings, naturally. And so, with that said, before this gets further out of hand, I'll draw to a close. 
I'm an absolute mess of a person, but you can take it, or you can leave it.