TheMadPoetGold
New poem. This week was tough. Had to do some serious reflection on my childhood, factors I hadn't considered that had led me to my darker points. I got drunk and immediately wrote a very long message to my parents, stuff I've been terrified for years of saying. About what they've taught me about love, how I feel like I grew up too fast. I'm not mad. I just feel....empty. And hurt. You know when you grow up, thinking––I'm not going to be that kid that has a screwed up relationship with their parents (if you couldn't tell, I was very much a goody-two-shoes), and they're basically your idols––and then, I feel like something has shattered, like I've been let down. And now I just feel so empty. Maybe from all the love I needed and never received. Maybe because I'm being hard on myself. Maybe because I'm tired of fighting.
Anyways. The text turned out to be a good turning point, apparently, in their words, a well-deserved wake-up call. A bucket of ice water. Good...or not. I think I've learned that life never turns out quite right, things never get quite resolved, and hurt never lessens. You heal, but it'll sometimes sting, and rot, and you're just never the same, I guess.
(I know what you're thinking––and I was very careful to omit any personal detail. I try to keep this vague. I'm not seeking answers, simply hope this may be validating to others, as I believe this is a shared experience)
Anywho. Enjoy the poem. I was walking down the street with my friends, passed by a school playground with a sign that said 'School Zone. No Idling.' And something just sorta hit me, so I wrote about it.
Hope you are all safe and taking care of yourselves.
https://www.wattpad.com/1613918202-satellite-school-zone-no-idling