i’m going to commit sometime this week so i figured i would come back to the place this all started. my online presence i mean. i’ve been anxiously attached to my girlfriend every single time we’ve dated besides the first and second times. which i guess she sorta caused by constantly having other crushes and other people to put before me. though this time i was really starting to think it was different. we’ve been communicating better but she has this friend, rin, who she’s put before me in the past that recently came back a few months ago. actually rin was why we broke up last time. well anyway, they’re supper close even tho neither of them wants to admit it and lin(my girlfriend) KNOWS i have issues with certain things. like showing me dms with other people, saying she loves other people, on and on. we’ve been calling more often but since i went camping last week ish we haven’t really called at all, usually that helps my issues a lot because when i think of other people i just think “oh well she’s on call with me anyway.” but last night. last night he set his pfp to some shabby art rin made of one of lins favorite characters. saying he would’ve done it no matter who made the art. i call bull but yk. i said that much to him, and he stood firm. but i know he’s lying cause if i made him art like that he wouldn’t have even asked for the different expressions or set it as his pfp. and then, he sets polls on discord saying how much he loves light and stuff. THEN he had the bright idea to go live FOR THE FIRST TIME MIND YOU with, you guessed it, rin. i was asleep and i literally told him i didn’t want to sleep because i get fomo bad and stuff, he encouraged me to go to sleep, and so i did. now i’ve told him all of this but he just keeps coming online and ignoring me then going back offline.
i’m not committing because of one instance. i’m committing because this is repeated behavior over years with anyone and everyone i’ve ever known. so goodbye.
