Federal Bureau of Investigation

my balls are burning fax me some antibiotics 

helllooooooo I have called you over 12 times in the past couple of months and you haven't answered 
          lives and minds are at stake here please save them

Can you cuff me?

FBI you're kinda slow but who cares, please open up!

FBI what the fuck I called you over 7 months ago

What if, here me out. This dude is actually part of the FBI?

@iM1ssN1c0 wants a follow and needs to be locked up

I like beans

Cuff me officer

so uh... how y'all doin? 
          
          -the person-- I mean, agent behind this account