Phoenix/Melog

Why do you follow me if you're going to ignore me and refuse to read the apology letter I wrote for you? Why haven't you blocked me on here and on your Nintendo Switch? Why do you keep doing things that give me false hope? It's not like I think we should be friends again, I just want you to know I'm sorry for the shit I did. I want to leave off on good terms, where if we see each other somewhere we can stand to be in the same room. I want to be able to say "hi" at activities without being scared you're going to ignore me or tell me to leave you alone. 
          Is it too much to ask for you to stop making it hurt more? I've been suffering for 169 days. Do you know how hard it's been? I still get the urge to text you. I want to ask you how your day's been. I want to be the one you talk to when your life gets hard. But I guess it's too late to be there for you. It's too late to make you feel heard and safe. I just wish you'd let me apologize for everything I did...

Today's the birthday of my favorite person in the whole fucking world! Go wish @notevenme77 a happy birthday!!!

*just screamed bc the wattpad homepage is different*

"Wellll fuck you! I could sorry the fuck out of people, just you watch! I sorried Fizz so hard he cried! And I can sorry more people. Everyone but you! Cuz I don't owe you dick!
          Everyone but you..."
          -Blitzø
          
          Have you guys ever tried to apologize to someone who won't even listen, who doesn't realize how much courage it took to say the words "I wanted to say... I'm sorry." Someone you hurt, and for the first time ever you say sorry out loud and mean it, and then they leave the note you spent weeks writing next to the plushie you'd been working on since January for them? 
          
          I don't know what hurts more, that they'd do that to me or that my anxiety was right and I'll never be able to say sorry to people without fearing they'll do the same now-

Did you think it wouldn't hurt me? Or did you just not care? I feel numb because of you. I'm to the level of depressed where I can't even eat salmon. I didn't think it would hurt this bad. I was scared for weeks you wouldn't even read my letter, but I didn't realize how bad it would be when you didn't. It's not fair, the way you can hurt me and not even care.

I spent weeks making that letter. I barely finished the moth plushie in time to give it to you today. I said I'm sorry out loud and meant it for the first time ever. I spent DAYS terrified you'd not even read my note. And what do you do? You leave the moth and note sitting next to where I gave them to you. And walk away. Do you know how terrified I was? Do you know how hard it was to get the words "I'm sorry" out? I'm trying so hard to be a better person, but how can I be a better person if people ignore me saying sorry? I don't know why I thought my anxiety was just getting the best of me. I don't know why I thought that maybe you'd actually accept my apology. Now all I have is depression and a letter hidden in my bag so my mom doesn't know that the "friend" I was giving a moth and a "birthday card" to refused to take them. One of our other friends took the moth home so I can avoid having to talk to my mom about it. But it hurts like hell.

Bro I just clicked on ur pfp while reading the itafushi book and saw that it was under the list 'itafushi books where one of them dies' why would u do me like this ;-;

Sooooo when do you wanna burn down that building?

*walks into lunch area at college*
          *Sees classmate that is hot but has a partner*
          *Face twitches into a smile*
          *Silently yells at myself for still liking them*

Just spent over an hour and a half KILLING my hand practicing writing in Japanese-