Severus Snape

Anyone miss me *insert shit emoji*

Did some bullshit and changed my whole identity

Eyy you're back 

Let me get this straight.
          
          1.) Hedwig didn't die, she got injured and came back.
          
          2.) Fred's 'death' was another prank
          
          3.) Harry can still fucking speak parseltounge, fight me

Harry: teddy said a bad word today
          
          *everyone looks at draco*
          
          Draco: oh what, it’s always the fucking slytherin it’s always fucking malfoy when you mother-
          
          Draco: oh. 

draco: what are you doing?
          
          draco: what are you doing?????
          
          harry: really with the double text?
          
          draco: you think I care about a double text?
          
          draco: fuck you
          
          draco: I'll quadruple text you
          
          draco: buzz buzz it's me again bitch

Fact:
          The first Harry Potter book was published in 1998, the same year as the Battle of Hogwarts.
          
          "I open at the close" 

Fred and George: shows the Marauder's Map to Harry. 
          
          Harry: what is this rubbish?! 
          
          Afterlife James: I- he did not just say that!
          
          Afterlife Snape: he did just say that. 
          
          

The golden trio in the three broomsticks:
          
          Harry [on his 14 butterbeer]: ᶜᵒᶜᵒⁿᵘᵗˢ ᵖʳᵒᵈᵘᶜᵉ ᵐⁱˡᵏ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵃʳᵉ ᶜᵒᵛᵉʳᵉᵈ ⁱⁿ ᶠᵘʳ, ˢᵒ ʷʰʸ ᵃʳᵉⁿ’ᵗ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᶜˡᵃˢˢⁱᶠⁱᵉᵈ ᵃˢ ᵐᵃᵐᵐᵃˡˢ?
          
          hermione: harry, what the fuck?
          
          ron: ʷʰᵃᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵐᵃᵐᵐᵃˡ?