Jasper

Not me being gay, Trans, neurodivergent and having asthma. I really can't pick a struggle can I /silly
          
          
          
          So uh surprise I was diagnosed with asthma today! And also I'm apparently allergic to Dust mites... which means a shit ton of cleaning in my room that i’m not happy about 
          
          But yeah I'm getting two inhalers. One I got today which is just the standard rescue inhaler you expect to see and the other one I couldn't get today(I'm gonna get it tomorrow)but it's one I'm gonna have to take every morning. So fun.
          
          I mean I kinda already I knew I had asthma but now it's just confirmed and I have an actually diagnosis lol
          
          Anyway I'm just happy I can finally get the help I need and I don't have to just sit through my asthma attacks anymore ^^

Happy Halloween!!

I feel so honored rn. So I'm friends with a system ok, and apparently there is a factive of ME!! And there has been for like a month!! Which means I mattered enough to them for their brain to manifest a version of me. I literally cried when I found out. And also I've met him and he acts to much like me, it's so weird but soooooo cool! There's also a factive of a mutual friend of ours but they've only been there for about a week, I've also met them

[drops this here then flees in embarrassment]
          
          
          ‘Useless herding dog’ by Jasper
          
          
          "What a useless herding dog you are
          All you do in lie in your create
          
          Are your limbs to old and painful for your young body?
          Or are you simply to lazy to do you job
          
          Perhaps it's both
          You're in to much pain to work 
          and you don't even have the energy to even try
          
          You should still work though
          Even when you legs give out beneath you and your bark is quiet
          
          That's all you're good for after all
          Herding those your master orders you to
          
          Get up and work
          This is no place to laze around like the useless herding dog you are
          
          If you want to be lazy and useless
          Then you can go flee to where the crows roost
          And have a city person to pick you up
          
          You're clearly not meant for this world
          Your fur's to soft and your paws to fragile for this work"

Question.
          
          
          
          Is it... normal to refuse to drink out of your cup just because the straw isn't your normal one? Like it's not normal to feel it's wrong and your brains feels weird at the thought of drinking out of the 'wrong' straw.
          
          
          
          
          Totally asking for a friend not because I went hours this morning not drinking even through I was thirsty just because my mom switched out my straw with a different one because it needed to be cleaned and she didn't have enough time to do it before we had to go then went on a rant in my notes when I got home about how wrong the straw was and how it didn't feel right to drink out of it and I couldn't even bring myself to try and drink out of it... haha totally just asking for a friend

Help? I need opinions, don't be gentle either I need REAL opinions.
          
          
          
          
          
          You all probably know I'm in deep deep love with my partner and I still am don't get me wrong but lately things have felt different.
          
          When their school started things started to feel different. They know I don't know their schedule so I don't know when I can reach out and they barely ever try to connect me. Hell we barely ever talk anymore, literally the only reason they texted me today was so I could take a picture of my fox wall so they can show it to their friend and they didn't even say thank you after I sent it. The only reason we hung out recently was because *I* begged my mom to talk to their mom and find a way to have us hang out.
          
          
          I genuinely don't *feel* loved by them anymore, at this point I'm afraid they're just leading me on cuz their scared to break up with me. I don't want that to be true though because I *love* them and I wanna be with them forever, they mean the world to me. We made plans to grow up and live together and raise cats and dogs together.
          
          
          I mean maybe I can keep living like this, maybe I can pretend I still feel loved, maybe I can pretend this relationship is still OK.
          
          I don't know anymore. It's been two years but the last year has felt... wrong.
          
          They'e my first relationship I don't even know how I would go about telling them all thing. I don't want to break up...

Yay! /s
          
          
          
          My mom is taking me to urgent care ^^ because I have an ear infection and our doctor couldn't take us till tomorrow. Yay
          
          
          I'm sick and have an ear infection. Fun.

I just remembered the embarrassing thing that happened yesterday T-T
          
          So I have tics(NOT TOURETTES! Just anxiety based tics) and I haven't told my parents/family cuz I don't really see a reason to plus it's just a scary thing to talk about.
          
          Now onto the actual story. So I have a lot of head tics that cause my head to jerk and I got into the car with my mom cuz we were going somewhere and normally I can kinda sense when they're coming and find a way to make it look normal but I guess I just got no warning thus time and my head jerked down. My mom got surprised by it and asked what happened and i just sat there in silent cuz I was embarrassed TwT she left it alone thankfully but it was still super embarrassing for me.
          
          
          Also I only have physical tics I don't have any vocal, thankfully TwT

UR PFP… OMMGGGGG AKU! LOVE LOVE LOVE!

Hehe guess who's getting a poster for The Knights Of Gunevere SIGNED by Dana Terrace and the other creators!
          
          
          
          I am!!! I'm so ridiculously happy right now!!