TW: SA, Abuse
Hey everyone. I know I’ve been on an impromptu hiatus, and I apologize for that.
Around eight hours ago, I found out that Gianni Matragrano, the VA for Sebastian, was stepping down. In that post he included a document made by NoLongerNull, a previous music composer for the game.
The document details her experience with Zeal, and how he sexually assaulted her. You can find Gianni’s post and the document on his stream channel ‘GetGianni’.
I’m not going to say much here. It’s not my place to act righteous or pretend like I’m part of the situation. I’m not. My heart goes out to Ren and her friends and family, it genuinely disgusts me to know that I’ve been supporting a rapist all this time.
It’s…tiring to see everything I love crumble like this without fail.
This post is more of a vent than anything else. It’s so exhausting to know something you love is tainted by cruelty.
I’ve had it happen so many times, and I can feel myself almost growing numb towards it. I don’t want to be apathetic. I don’t want to be indifferent.
Maybe I’m being dramatic. But I’ve always found solace in media. It was escapism, especially when life around me felt impossible to live in. Media and games like these carried me through some of the hardest points in my life, so I feel my pain is at least a little justified.
Having this happen over and over again has admittedly sapped a lot of my motivation to create at all. I was so excited to write Operative 15—I’ve fallen in love with the characters I’ve written and I want to write more, but even the idea of associating with Pressure—or the person behind it—even if indirectly, makes my stomach turn.
I want to continue the story, I really do, but I don’t know if I can. Even if I took the narrative in my own direction, it feels wrong, like I can never truly separate the story from its source.
I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t think I can bring myself to continue Operative-15.
