FandomTrash

Hey
          
          Still alive :]

Fuck off you know who you are, deal with your own problem first and don't fucking worry about me got it.
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          Vent//tw mention of unalivement//
          
          I'm completely aware what I'm doing is 100% on me but I just can't force myself to log off, I can't do anything, I don't want to do anything. I want to make everyone hate me I want to have no one that way I could disappear and no one would care, but I'm too afraid to even try that, because as much as I want to be alone I don't want to be by myself. I'm so fucking stupid. I can't act my age ever or ay all. its annoying I know nothing, I don't know how to do anything, and I'm so terrified of existing.
          I can barely remember past when my grandma died and when I try to think about the future I can't think of anything. it's nothing. Gray fog I can't see through or walk through and I don't know what to do. 
          
          I want everyone to hate me.
          Yet I try so hard to make sure no one ever knows anything about me and try to constantly make everyone happy. 
          
          I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like a 6 year old who's scared of the dark.

I'm not elaborating if you see this, it's why I asked about notifications, in the past I used this account to vent because I never gave my account to friends. I will not confirm anything you ask.
          
          Vent!//
          
          
          I'm sorry. I want to say more but I can't. So simply I'm sorry.

I'll be honest I only open this app when extremely bored

It's been awhile, sorry I don't say hi as often as I would like to but I got a s/o again and don't wanna lose em this time so I'm trying to focus on relationship stuff and life in general, how is everyone?

Being Asexual asf is when both normal story's and smxt are boring to you now & it's just fun reading the comments & everyone's reaction to something you've read like 10 times out of boredom ->-
          Honestly I might regret this but I'm p sure everyone here has at least looked at a smxt book b4 so eh
          I'm already going to hell might as well make it fun 

I need to go through all my old shit and clean this out, it's been ages

I'm sad, I think two of my favorite fics got deleted or something T^T
          Kinda pissed at my past self
          
          I might have screenshots of comments but I'd have to go through millions of screenshots

I've started writing again. I'm working on something I think will b fun :D 
          It's a nice way for me to try and get motivated for other stuff lol

I look at the old fics I've read and am hit with a 'smell' like ya know the feeling, its not an actual smell but like you can feel the athletic kinda thing?
          
          Idk I just thought it was interesting