The Outlaw Christian

I am machine I never sleep I keep my eyes wide open I am machine a part of me wishes I could just feel something I am machine another sleep until it I fix what's broken I am machine I wish I could just feel something. 

I consider my life worth nothing to me if only I may finish the race
          and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me. The task of testifying
          to the Gospel of God's grace. Now I know that none of you whom I have gone
          about preaching the Kingdom will ever see me again. Therefore I declare
          to you that I am innocent of the blood of all men for I have not hesistated
          to proclaim the whole will of God. Keep watch over yourselves and all the
          flock to which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of
          the church, of God, which He bought with His own blood. I know that when
          I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock.
          Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to
          draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves
          at the gate, we are the ones who face them.
          
          [Acts 20:26-32; Luke 10:3; Matthew 7:5, 10:6]
          

Its weird because My fiance she is good with people. I'm the exact opposite. I am shy and awkward. She is outgoing and social. The Lord put a Extrovert and an introvert together.

I threw my phone out of the window, I'm so over it
          Weight on my shoulders, every day another storm to live
          I'm standing at the ledge
          My foot's about to slide
          What if it takes the fall for me to learn to fly
          I try to run from what I've done
          And it cost me everyone, all it left me was feeling numb
          
          Sunrise stayed up 'til the morning
          Eyes stay bloodshot from the smoking
          Another round and I'm locked and loaded
          Faith has faded
          Living on the edge one foot in the coffin
          Lord knows I don't pray too often
          Knees down when the devil come calling
          Ain't no saving
          
          Dead man walking
          A dead man walking
          
          Russian roulette, I swear I don't have many chances left
          No I should change, but man I swear I'd rather dance with death
          I'm just a desperate soul
          Another broken human
          I know some stars are falling
          I know some stars are shooting
          I get so high
          I'm froze in time
          Shattered pieces fell on the floor of a heart no longer pure
          
          Sunrise stayed up 'til the morning
          Eyes stay bloodshot from the smoking
          Another round and I'm locked and loaded
          Faith has faded
          Living on the edge one foot in the coffin
          Lord knows I don't pray too often
          Knees down when the devil come calling
          Ain't no saving
          
          Dead man walking
          A dead man walking
          
          I threw my phone out of the window I'm so over it
          Weight on my shoulders every day another storm to live
          
          Sunrise stayed up 'til the morning
          Eyes stay bloodshot from the smoking
          Another round and I'm locked and loaded
          Faith has faded
          Living on the edge one foot in the coffin
          Lord knows I don't pray too often
          Knees down when the devil come calling
          Ain't no saving
          
          Dead man walking
          A dead man walking
          Ain't no saving
          Dead man walking
          A dead man walking
          
          
          

Alone and forsaken by fate and by man oh Lord if you hear me please hold my hand oh please understand.