-The Outsider-

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It Starts with Goodbye is now finished! Read, vote comment!

Her eyes fill with tears
          As she turns to face her fears
          All these people she has come to know
          Were all part of this final blow

Mean
          
          I was hoping to get better
          So then I wouldn't have to write such a letter
          But alas I have gotten worse
          This depression as bad as a fairy tale curse
          
          Maybe then they wouldn't have to cry
          For their daughter that always wished to die
          Wishing for cancer or even a tumor
          Something to change this horrid rumor
          
          It has been said
          She begged to be dead
          It has been seen
          Her heart and soul are quite mean

Maybe
          
          Maybe if I was shorter. Maybe if I wore yoga pants and UGG boots like all the other girls. Maybe if I was prettier. Maybe then someone would like me, love me. Or maybe if I didn't exist, I wouldn't have to watch, read, and hear all the love stories, feel that jealousy every time, more and more, as love passes me, skips me, ignores me. Maybe I wasn't meant for love. Maybe I don't have a soul mate out there somewhere looking for me. Maybe if my heart stops beating, it won't hurt this much. Maybe. Just maybe. But then again, maybe not.

He's There
          
          He's there. Somewhere, he's there. There are around seven billion people in this world, maybe half of them male, and maybe half of those males actually like females. So, he's there. In that small divided fraction, he's there. Someday, sooner or later, I may bump into him, glance at him from across a room. Or maybe I've already met him. Someday I will say "I do," and "I love you." He'll kiss me tenderly and hold me gently. He'll wipe away my tears when I can no longer hold them in. Most of all, I hope he'll love me for me. I want to have things in common, but bond over our differences. He'll always be there for me. He may or may not be by my side now, but in the future, he's there. I hope to god he's there.

My heart was falling apart
          My tears bitter and tart
          My fingers couldn't sew fast enough
          The edges of my broken heart beaten and rough

Her heart was paper
          and he held the match
          He held it out to the paper
          waiting for it to catch.
          
          Soon it did and she fell
          and he walked away
          as she lived in hell
          saying she was okay.
          
          She was anything but
          yet they didn't see
          how often she cut
          wanting to be free.

Change is hard. Its harder than nailing jello to a wall. It is the number one fear of humanity, change. It affects me, more than I ever thought possible. It hangs possiblities of my future in front of me, attaching strings as I ponder reaching out. It changes my mind again and again, changes the circumstances, changes the consequences, the future. With so much change, I cower in fear, staring as changes takes hold of my future.