Found this from forever ago:
Secrets. I never understood them until they were taken from me. Suddenly I couldn’t have that luxury anymore, and that’s when everything started to slip away.
Maybe it’s our faults that hold us together, and our hidden lies that keep us going. We all have sins we are ashamed of and past memories we wish to forget, and by living a lie, it can hold people together.
Is this what we have really become? Sometimes I don’t know, and maybe I’ll never know, so when I watch their eyes fix upon me, looking for something deeper, how can I tell them I search for the same thing? I think that is my secret, if I were if ever to have one now. I think that is what holds me together at night, the constant hunt within me. It is all I have now that you’re gone, all that will ever be my own.