Spaghetti King

5 days until June 11th!

All my OCs are autistic and bisexual unless explicitly stated otherwise that is all

Me, 24/7, slapping at anyone in reach: love me love me love me love me love me LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVEMELOVEMELOVEMELOVEMELOVEMELOVEMELOVEME- 
          Anyone: *shows even the Slightest display of affection* 
          Me, hissing like a vampire in direct sunlight: what the cinnamon toast FUCK is this-

I might make a Tumblr just cuz

Hello I am still alive and will try to post after finals finish killing me

Me, three seconds after hitting the Peak of a meltdown: oh my god can't believe I'm faking my mental illness AND my neurodivergencies smh my head I'm a monsterr

I've got a lesson for the Children. 
          
          I spent a HUGE chunk of my life responding to "you're my best friend" with "haha tHANkS", even though I wanted to tell them that they were my best friend too. Why? Because my Oldest friend had claimed the title, I called them my "best friend forever" when we were five, and since we were still friends I figured I couldn't give the title to anyone else. It caused a lot of stress. 
          
          Fuck that noise. No. My love is not finite. I have like five best friends and I do not love a single one any less for having several. Tell your best friends they're your best friends. You don't have to have a hierarchy of love. 

I don't need a hug!!! I need to dramatically fall into someone's arms, and then they catch me and hold me tight while I go limp and nap in their lap like I just cast highly draining magic!!!!!!!!!! And also a hug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What if I stabbed you? Just straight up, took something sharp and just stabbed you with it? And then you ran to the authorities, and screamed, hOLY FUCK, SHE STABBED ME!!!! And they were like oh, sweaty, oh sweaty, don't give her attention! Ignore her! She's just trying to stab you :3c just ignore it don't let her win! 
          And then u stand there like what the fuck?????? I KNOW she's trying to stab me!!!!! I've been stabbed!!!!!!!! She stabbed me and I'm bleeding and it hurts and she's probably going to do it again if you don't help me!!!!!!! 
          And they respond with, nobody likes a tattletale :///// just don't let people stab you and they can't stab you ://///////// you have to learn to deal with stabbing on your own :/// we can't always help you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 
          And you say fuck it!!! The next time she comes at me with something pointy, I'm gonna fight! I'm not gonna get stabbed! I come at u with a crossbow, u smack it out of my hands, I start crying and ur arrested for assault. 
          
          
          That's pretty much the exact narrative people use on kids. Yeah, fuckin, Karen, I know she's bothering me to annoy me, it's working and nobody is helping so I might have to backhand a bitch!!!!! Anyway this has been a rant from 6 year old me who is still pissed off. 

I can make eye contact but I usually don't, I usually look at the bridge of the nose or just under the eyes instead, bc once I actually make eye contact cONGRATULATIONS WE ARE NOW RIDE OR DIE NEITHER OF US ARE FREE FROM THIS SPARRING MATCH UNTIL I AM FORCED TO LOOK AT SOMETHING ELSE OR YOUR EYES ARE NO LONGER IN SIGHT AND ALSO I HAVE PROBABLY ALREADY DECIDED I WOULD EITHER TAKE A BULLET FOR YOU OR STAB U IN UR SLEEP eye contact is a choice u cannot make lightly bc I'm pretty sure I accidentally fall into ur soul