"I am the master of the wicket"
My favorite food is beeferoni because you can't eat it without forks. 
I actually got my friends to call me 'our sweet baby' once.
I'm confused as to why I actually have followers 
Markman the therapy goldfish 
Holy Doritos now available, as well as Holy Milk
You've heard of lady door, now get ready for L A D Y B O X
Come to the Holy Spa and get cleansed of your sins, all are welcome here. Gift certificates available!

@people who @ me: Why do you read this!? 
I mean, I don't judge. Do what you wish 😁