The_SPN_gay_GUY

I just want to say something real quick you can ignore this or read if you want but please don’t say anything I don’t want pity or comfort I’m fine
          	
          	I have this thing where I’ll make false situations in my head and all these unreal problems. I do this not to get attention not to get clout or people’s pity I do it because it makes me feel better about my self. That probably doesn’t make sense so I’ll explain. I was put in foster care not even a day after I was born and that wasn’t as traumatic as some would think. I always felt bad for the people who have rough childhoods and adulthood’s. I created these illusions because I felt bad that I was that one in whatever who ended up happy. I never got death threats or had to watch my family pass away when I was young or got bullied in school. I live happy but it changed. I gave myself real anxiety and real suicidal thoughts because I could take care of reality my illusions became real. I can’t even tell my parents I hate my body or I hate how popular people are and I’m not. I can’t tell my parent I don’t want to eat because I think I look fat and can’t stand to look at my self. I can’t tell the school therapist why I have finger nail marks on my arm and I can’t tell them why I did it. I can’t tell the teachers why I forget my homework or why I can’t focus in class. Because I don’t know why. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. I make myself hate me more than I’m willing to admit because as long as I’m not happy I’m not burdened with “oh you should be lucky your happy” “your lucky you didn’t have trauma as a child/adult” “your so pretty” and a whole lot more because I don’t want that and I never have. 
          	
          	Thank you for listening and I told you this because you guys and girls don’t know me not like they do on Instagram or TikTok and so I can’t get this off my chest but here I can so if you made this far sorry for wasting your time and goodbye

The_SPN_gay_GUY

I just want to say something real quick you can ignore this or read if you want but please don’t say anything I don’t want pity or comfort I’m fine
          
          I have this thing where I’ll make false situations in my head and all these unreal problems. I do this not to get attention not to get clout or people’s pity I do it because it makes me feel better about my self. That probably doesn’t make sense so I’ll explain. I was put in foster care not even a day after I was born and that wasn’t as traumatic as some would think. I always felt bad for the people who have rough childhoods and adulthood’s. I created these illusions because I felt bad that I was that one in whatever who ended up happy. I never got death threats or had to watch my family pass away when I was young or got bullied in school. I live happy but it changed. I gave myself real anxiety and real suicidal thoughts because I could take care of reality my illusions became real. I can’t even tell my parents I hate my body or I hate how popular people are and I’m not. I can’t tell my parent I don’t want to eat because I think I look fat and can’t stand to look at my self. I can’t tell the school therapist why I have finger nail marks on my arm and I can’t tell them why I did it. I can’t tell the teachers why I forget my homework or why I can’t focus in class. Because I don’t know why. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. I make myself hate me more than I’m willing to admit because as long as I’m not happy I’m not burdened with “oh you should be lucky your happy” “your lucky you didn’t have trauma as a child/adult” “your so pretty” and a whole lot more because I don’t want that and I never have. 
          
          Thank you for listening and I told you this because you guys and girls don’t know me not like they do on Instagram or TikTok and so I can’t get this off my chest but here I can so if you made this far sorry for wasting your time and goodbye

The_SPN_gay_GUY

this message may be offensive 
Ok so I know no one see these so here we go today I had like a mix of an anxiety attack and just regular hyperventilating and then I was sent to my dad because he’s the principal at my school we talk he saw the cuts on my arm and then after I was depressed as shit but then I talk to my group chat of crazy friends and now I feel better bye I just wanted to get that off my chest