Things I hate:
-Assessment forms
-The former classification of ineffable and (principally) subjective thoughts for the purpose of generalised psychometric analysis
-Airport security

Always keep a loaded gun in my nightstand so, in the event of an intruder, I can shoot myself to avoid meeting new people.

Pro Tip: If a centipede is hissing at you, try counting its legs. If it has none, then probably it's a snake