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I may start writing again, I don't know but I'm going to republish some stuff. I had my son about 3 weeks ago and he's doing perfect. I'm going through some stuff again so I may voice some of that here. I hope everyone had a happy holidays and have a great new year.
          
          - Deer.

Its been a while since I posted here, I will sum it up why for you; I can't wait to hold  my little bean.

"It wasn't that long of a time but.... I miss you."

I feel like I'm being eaten alive.

A sudden, harsh mood change will make you hate everything and everyone.

You worry about those around you, and they don't even know it. You're the last person they think is worrying, but you care, you care a lot. You want to make sure they're okay, but you don't know how.

Don't you want to be The best?
          Not one of the best.
          That means there's a higher ranking above you, that's not you.
          It hurts, it really does. Doesn't it?

I'm sorry, I should've tried better.
          I'll do my best to not let my moods affect me anymore.

I wish life would just pull its cock out of me and tease me with it a bit instead of just jackhammer fucking me into oblivion.

I now know why I am the way I am.... But how can I change it? All it has done is hurt me and destroy me. To the point where I don't know who I am anymore. How can I become okay with it?! What's wrong with me?! Its fucking normal but for some reason I can't get that inside of my dumbass head..... I'm driving myself insane. My mental health has suffered a lot because of it. I just don't know what to do.