Cas

I wish to hear your voice again but I don't think I will any time soon 

What do I have to do to have your forgiveness 

I doubt I'd ever live to the age of 20 so let's see what I can accomplish right now ! ! !
          No one would care if I just died. They'd move on with their life, honestly 

Ha
          If I have suicide with a plan my counselor will tell my mother 
          
          Guess that's gotta stay out of our session :')

Woops.
          I'm an asshole.
          Oh well :/

I feel as if my friends are starting to hate me
          Another thing is that my name is Caspar, it's spelled like that but three friends of mine pronounce it 'Cas- par.' Par being of you were to spar

My mom always gets mad at me for 'acting like a caged animal' for always wanting to go somewhere
          
          I never get out of the house. And when I have to, I don't feel any motivation to leave my bed. I lied on the depression scale because my mom was next to me and I didn't want her to find out. She only knows about my anxiety. It's when she pulls small things like these; going out of the house during the week when I'm at school, and then she says I have school. Like she's why I feel so stuck and I'm tired of it. I'm starting to let me trust lower around her so now I'm gaining trust issues again. She won't even take me out early if I'm sick or don't feel like staying and that pisses me off to where I don't want ro leave school.

What are these new coins now like what? 

Ya'll if I ever die El gets my account and stuff

Sometimes you feel like killing yourself seems like a good idea 
          
          I think it is right now, personally