ForeverWatching

…….
          Wattpad made the pfp square…?
          I-
          W-what?
          Why?
          I feel gross

Sorry im not enough ig.

Love making up my mental illness to pretend that my life is harder for attention except the joke is that it legitimately does make my life harder and ive cried multiple times over it
          
          (Aka im /not/ making it up and i need to stop gaslighting myself)

So apparently i like, saved a life or smth? 
          But i cant get out of bed today. 
          Ig that’s the trade off, huh?

Not that i have any followers they dont but shameless promo for my doodles’ new book
          Its very pog
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/322170055?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details&wp_uname=Theeverseeingeye&wp_originator=dvw6cV2jev0hHs%2FN94nVCQjDM%2BnJTsGs8CClfB5aFNVE3V3UrpsCrnBTYUvtZbnTQ5xa9Qxw6xepHL8Pehjo2A11cUSKRwgNU%2BGcXXsdIaK1S2lay7b%2FJsk9p%2Faaxh2R

Remy fiddled with their skirt. It was one that had shorts built into the underside of it, so they wouldn't have to worry about flashing anyone, still, they were unsure.
          "I don't know babe. Do you think it looks right?" they asked, turning to Emile, their genderfluid partner, who was wearing both his blue and black bracelets today.
          "I think you look great, dear," Emile responded, fixing their belt into place. Emile was wearing a black turtleneck and pants, which Remy pointed out he might get hot in, but he didn't mind. "You bout ready to go?" they asked Remy, who nodded. The two of them were going on a date with their other two partners, Janus and Remus. A lazertag date, of course. What else is a better way to pass the time. It was a twenty minute drive to the location, where Remy and Emile were both practically tackled by Remus who was barely even dressed it seemed, and given small pecks on the cheek from Janus who was wearing all black slick shirt and pants, and a small cape. Emile expressed concern about it getting caught on something, but Janus insisted it was part of the fit. This time, they split with Remus and Remy and one team, and Janus and Emile on the other. They weren't fighting just eachother, of course, there was other people there that day also playing. Remus played with reckless abandon, Janus planned out her every move, Emile always close behind them. Remy spent most of the time trying to take pictures and videos on their phone, but after enough annoyed comments from his boyfriend, mostly Remus who claimed they were the reason their team was loosing the game, Remy caved. In the last few minutes of the game, Remy and another skilled player managed to carry the team to victory. In the free for all, it was no surprise that Janus placed first. Afterwards, sweaty and tired as they were, the polycule went for ice cream, also tradition for their dates. Remy got coffee, Emile vanilla, Janus banana. Naturally, Remus got the peanut butter flavored ice cream.

Janus was exhausted by the time he got home. Janus worked part time and did school part time. He would graduate in the next year, if all went according to plan. Still, that was a long ways off, and currently, Janus was focused on how sluggish his mind and body felt. He had had four tests in the past week. Fridays were his longest days, four classes followed by work until late evening. Naturally, Janus wanted nothing more than to go to bed and go to sleep, but he knew that if he did that, he would regret it when he woke up in the morning at four am from sleeping early, dirty and still in his binder and starving from lack of proper food. So, tired as he was, Janus placed his bags under his desk, and then dragged himself to the bathroom. Just because he was forcing himself through self care did not mean he would not be kind to himself however. Janus made sure to handwash and hang up his binder before taking a bath under dimmed lights, lighting candles and playing his favorite music. It was a little bit of a long bath, but that was okay, he deserved it. Proceeding that, Janus made himself a quick and simple, but well balanced meal before sitting down for an episode of his favorite show. He hadn't even realized it, but as he was heading for bed that night, he felt better. Physically and mentally, he just felt better. Janus tucked himself into bed as it neared midnight. He may not have anything the next morning, so he could sleep in somewhat, but he also knew that if he slept in too late, he would accomplish nothing. Laying down, and feeling the tension release from his body, Janus repeated some assurances in his head, things told to him by Dr.Picani, his therapist. 
          ‘Ihave done enough today. I am enough. I have done everything I can, and that which is still not done will be done in time. There is no rush on anything. The only person I need to please is myself. I am proud to be me. I love myself’
          Janus slept soundly, feeling content with himself and his lot in life.
          

Patton adjusted the frills on his dress. It was a baby blue sort of colour, his normal preference, long sleeved, a tie across the open back of the dress and a layered skirt. The dress was generally light and flowy, and perfectly feminine. Truth be told it was a little shorter than he would have preferred, but he would be fine, he just wasn't used to it because he had always worn long dresses growing up, f a dress at all. Patton was also somewhat nervous about the exposed back, but he had been reassured by Roman, his house mate, that it would be fine. Patton was excited, and ineffably happy. If someone had told his teen self that in a few years time he'd had transitioned, and been able to wear a dress in comfort, he wouldn't have believed them. Yet here he was, about to go out on a day with the fam(ILY). He had all eventually told them he was trans, but Roman, Virgil and Logan were the only ones who had know at the start of the year, and yet, none of them before or after finding out had ever misgendered him, no matter how feminine he presented. It was so freeing, wearing feminine clothes and still being seen as male. To be able to be himself. He blinked a few times, keeping his tears of joy from falling and ruining his makeup as he grabbed his bag before entering the bathroom. The conversation that had been happening in the main room between Roman and Remy fell quiet as they looked at him.
          “You look beautiful," Roman beamed at him.
          “Ravishing," Remy nodded with small smile. "Ready to go babes?" Patton nodded, feeling a slight rush from the idea. He was going in public, as a male wearing a dress. He was actually doing this. He'd been looking forward to this for so long. He hadn't properly realized Roman was walking towards him until he took his hand.
          “Ya good Patt?" he asked gently. Patton nodded again, squeezing his hand.
          “Yeah! Come on, let's go! If we hurry we can stop by Starbucks before we meet the others!"
          “Ooo, starbies, I like the way you think," Remy smirked.

Logan held their bag closer to them as the approached the apartment. Logan had no idea what was awaiting him inside. They had seen there was a group of people needing a fourth roommate to fill in for a roommate that had moved out, and Logan who was just starting college in the area, was willing to fill the place. It felt nice to get away from home, and he entertained the idea of getting to be themself, but they also had to consider that, quite possibly, his roommates could be straight up transphobic. Logan swallowed down their nervousness and knocked. From the other side of the door Logan heard voices and shuffling, but eventually, the door opened up. They found themself facing someone taller than themself, dark skin with paler patches around their mouth, nose and left eye. It took Logan aback for a minute, but he was in no way repulsed by the appearance. It seemed interesting if anything. They had an undercut, and the rest of their hair was braided and pulled back into shape resembling a bun.
          “Is that them?" a gravely voice asked from somewhere inside moments before an even taller person showed up, skin dark but still lighter than the first and short dark hair. The first chuckled and stuck out a hand.
          “My name is Janus. This fucker next to me is Remus." Logan had to do a double take from the way Janus spoke so smoothly while saying what they said. 
          “They/them for Jan-Jan and he/it for me," Remus added. "You're Logan, right?" Logan nodded, feeling himself relaxing almost instantly. These people were just like him.
          “Yes. I am Logan, he/they. I believe there was a third roommate listed?"
          "Oh, yes, they're just inside," Janus smiled, "Please, come in."
          "Remy, get your ass over here!" Remus yelled into another room as Logan entered, Janus closing the door behind them.
          “I hope you can feel at home here," Janus smiled. "It's almost dinner, so we can talk rules over a meal, if you'd like," they offered.
          “Thank you," Logan smiled. "And for the record, I think I will."

"Where the fuck is my cape?" Roman yelled, running around the house trying to find said cape."The fuck I know," Virgil hollered back, sat on the living room couch in a hoodie that was shades of purple and black. It was by chance that Virgil's favorite colours since he was young were purple and black, and those were the colours of the demisexual flag. Virgil did have some colour on him, though, a rainbow bracelet and rainbow laces on his platforms. Logan was not all too different than Virgil, sticking to his normal outfit, though Roman had made some altercations. Logan was wearing his normal black buttondown, black jeans and a tie the colors of the MLM pride flag. "Roman, you had it literally yesterday. How could you have lost it?" Logan sighed."I don't know," Roman whined."I think you left it in the upstairs bathroom," Patton offered, fixing the frills on his skirt, which was a pretty pattern of grey and blue."Oh my god you're right!" Roman exclaimed, shooting upstairs. True to their word, Roman's cape was right where Patton had said it would be. Roman quickly put it on and once again checked his hair before scurrying downstairs. "How do I look?" he asked, moving the cape around for dramatic effect. Roman's outfit was white pants with a blue button down longsleeved shirt, unbuttoned part way, which showed his binder a little but he didn't care, and a cape that he and Virgil had worked on that was the colours of trans flag. To top it off, Roman's fading red hair was pink, coincidentally , and he had managed to get his hand on a golden crown that matched the golden coloured boots he wore. Virgil and Logan were more on the reserved side of pride, Patton had opted for a skirt, meanwhile Roman had gone full out, outfit, makeup and all."Handsome as always," Patton smiled, kissing Roman's cheek. "I agree with that statement," Logan smiled. Virgil nodded, seconding the opinion. Roman beamed at them, trying not to blush with hippieness."Ya'll ready? Come on lets go!"