Thefireof_Eos

I want to write so bad but somehow I am unable to write the words I want onto the page. It comes out bad. I am embarrassed of my writing :( so a special thank you if I you read my writing despite the many flaws it has 

Finishing reading a book is so sad. I can’t imagine what it will be like when I actually finish writing a book for once 

It feels good to binge read a book again :) 

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE 1K READS? Thank you so much I honestly didn’t think I’d get here so early on. This means so much to me you have no idea
          https://my.w.tt/FS2Fze4H25

I find myself wishing for hours that I was someone else, someone better. I feel like nothing I ever do is good enough. I want to feel good in my own skin and I want people to see me, the real me. I don’t think people at my school even remember I exist. Why would they? I’m nobody. I know that I’m nobody but it still hurts. 

It's good to cringe at earlier works, it means you're improving.

There’s something very wrong 

If one of these days I don’t come back...I swear I fought. I fought her the best I could. This is more for me than it is for people on Wattpad...but I’d like to think that one or two of you out there would miss me if something were to happen. Just when I start to feel like someone might not kill me in my sleep I am reminded that they are very capable of it. 

for a long time, I really wanted to scrap "Honey and Spice." It's just not what I wanted to write at all. It's nothing like how I pictured it. Recently I was going to remove it from Wattpad. But then I looked back on my journey and while it has been a really tough one and I have been through more shit than ever the last couple of months...it's my first book and all first books suck. I will rewrite it, I just need to get the outline done first. There definitely will be major rewriting but I don't want to give up on it. It has been my baby since November 2019 and I am not ready to let it go. So no matter how much it sucks right now...I have to keep going. I apologise to everyone reading it right now, I know it's cliche and the dialogue is off and at times it's plain boring. But I promise that once I rewrite it and then maybe rewrite it yet again, it will look like an actual semi-decent book.

why do I feel like this?