Theo de Toaster

I just, this is a vent, I'm doing it here bc ik ppl don't come here, and I don't wanna bother them.
          
          I love kids. I have 'adopted' several of my friends. I love them all so much. That's what makes what I'm about to talk about so heartbreaking for me. When I was younger, like 3-10 range my mom had her main focus on my younger sisters. Mostly bc she had to. We were born really close together, about 2 years each, except for me and the one right after me, we have 1 and a half. Because my mom had to focus more on my younger sisters, I got really attached to my dad, I idolized him in a way. I basically cut myself off from my mom, (unconsciously) thinking I only really needed my dad. Since my parents started getting a divorce about 8 or 9 months ago, I've noticed/learned how horrid a person my dad is. But that's not who is the main focus of this is, my mom is. When the divorce started and I learned more about my dad, I started to open up to my mom. I learned from my older sister that my mom talks about how happy she is that I'm more affectionate towards her. Just today, my sister mentioned that when I was messing around in the fridge, she thought I was gonna make chocolate milk as I was walking away. I told her I don't like chocolate milk. Behind me, as I'm going back to class (which is online most days), I hear my mom say "See she is my child" but it wasn't in a 'matter of fact way' but a 'see! See! It's true! Excited way'. I find it heartbreaking to think that my mom probably didn't know if I had loved her. I hate myself for this. I wouldn't have wished that on my worst enemy. 

I feel like im having an identity crisis but im not have an identity crisis

Do you ever feel like your missing some part of you? Like there was a part that disappeared after you were designed but before you were made? Leaving an empty space? Leaving you to feel like your missing something?
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          I guess why I'm trying to say is, man I just want some wings to fly through the sky with smh

Got accused of something I didn't do, so I looked it up, people are having the same problem. They are randomly disappearing for a lot of people. I'm sorry you think I did it. I did not

Just a personal head canon but like, I feel like Daryl and Tucker would essentially adopt Theo after the Pizza thing, even before they're willing to admit that they like each other. So it's like originally like a ranboo/tubbo type thing of platonic marriage then becomes not so platonic

I'm bored, give me prompts to write, I might just do one 

I've fallen back into the ways of simping for a human fox animatronic v-v

Wanna cry, I've only ever gotten directly stated validation once. And I just I feel like I always need to prove myself so I try to be this and that, try to be tough. I just wanna be recognized as a guy. Sure people use my name and pronouns, but they don't directly say "Yeah you are a guy, that's who you are, I'm happy for you and proud of you" 
          I just, I just wanna hear those words, sometimes it's all I need.

Fun fact
          You can actually gage my mood by the way I say okay, ok, okie, oak, ect.

Being given sx ed in HOPE, going dark 
          (For context I'm asexual)