The name says it all. I'm actually a bottle of syrup that was scientifically engineered to be able to perform human-like functions. I was conceived through a syrup-tap in the great state of Vermont and collected in a bucket, then warmed and set out in a vat to mature. I was then poured into a glass bottle and placed on a shelf at a local grocery store. A mad scientist picked me up and experimented with me, trying to figure out how to bring me to life. After several failed tests, I was strapped to a table during a thunder storm and exposed to the wild lightning. A burst of electricity ran through my glass and shocked my liquified tree nerves so much that they started to work again! And now I am here, a living bottle of syrup, writing about myself. :)