I try

Oi this is my old lost acc *sigh* I have no real way to prove this is true but lost password and email cri 

Hows it going? My names JP. I write stories. Can you check em out? Thanks. Your friend JP.

everything about your profile makes me want to cry tears of joy

Same

Well fuck me.
          Ha ha ha! 
          I had no fucking idea I had to wear a sign that says,'Notice Me!' 
          OMFG THIS IS TO FUNNY!
          Hahaha!
          I like girls you bitch.
          G-I-R-L-S!
          Girlsssssss you fucking homophobe!
          Yanno the ones that have boobs and pussies?
          Hehehe,yeah that gender.
          L-O-fucking-L.
          Wanna know what else?
          I've fucked the neighbor's daughter.
          Yeah the one I heard you saying was perfect and did everything right.
          ;) welp mother,you were right,she did everrrrything right :P.
          Lmfao.
          <3 love ya

Profile is almost a year old :P 11Months

August 7th.  

STAHP EXPECTING ANSWERS FROM ME WHEN YOU REPLY TO ONE OF MY COMMENTS. I DROP COMMENTS LIKE BEYONCÉ DROPS ABLUMS.
          
          heh I'm proud of myself for that reference.. Heh

A word to people: stop replying to my comments :). Heh because I never check any notifications. :P

I'm the kind of person who spends way to long on the internet,and accidentally finds a weird porn and somehow watches it to the end,hoping the computer will change it itself.