TimeShadowtempest

The most hilarious thing I've heard in a while is this morning is a collage girl admitting that she only started drinking coffee because of camp

TimeShadowtempest

this message may be offensive
Fuck
          I'm talking to this girl who's a year older than me and plays tennis, so she's strong, really strong, and fucking pretty as hell. We're standing in the sun and I'm blushing so she goes and asks "are you OK, your a little red, are you getting a heart stroke?"
          AND MY IDIOT MOUTH GOES 
          "Stroke? Yes. Heat? No."
          THANK HELL THE 4 YEAR OLD DECIDED SHE DOESN'T LIKE TENNIS IN THAT MOMENT

TimeShadowtempest

I am having a major gay freak out over a Russian aerial gymnast I saw at a play
          HELP MEEEE
          SHE'S SO PRETTY AND HAS SO MUCH MUSCLE AND ACORDING TO MY FRIEND WHO WAS IN THE PLAY SHE HAS AN EIGHT PACK
          I bearly focused on anything besides her and my friend (because I'm a good friend) 
          Why can't I meet more girls like her :(

TimeShadowtempest

Today in my arabic class we had an oral test where we had to read 5 lines from a poem and no one was getting higher than a 5/8 
          Then came this one girl who always does insanely well
          The teacher complements her and says her pronunciation and speed is flawless BUT 
          then he says this nearly word for word
          "You know when you have Google translate read something out for you?"
          Everyone _died_
          Including her!