𝙙𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙚! 🦆✨

*elton johns the bitch is back plays in the distance* shessss backkkkkkkkkkkkkkk sorry for leaving for so long babies

your bootie stanky

i open wattpad for the first time in like a month bc i don’t use it much anymore- 500 NOTIFICATIONS. FIVE HUNDRED. 

the iwa fic is going to have a strip routine thingy in it and ugh i feel like when you guys read it its going to make no sense bc its hard to write TvT

why is it.. that i can always perfectly write a chapter in my head.. the details, dialogue, all of it is mwah chef kisses.. i go to actually write it and forget everything so it ends up looking like one of those bad early 2010 wattpad stories..

ok this is the last platform that i’m telling this to… I MET MY ONLINE BESTKE WIFE TONIGHT AND IM SO SAD BC WERE 5 HOURS AWAY FROM EACH OTHER UGH BUT SHES *bad British accent* LITCHERALLY THE BEST LUVS

i got soap in my eye and it hurts

HELP- I FOUND AN OLD VIDEO OF ME AT UNIVERSAL WHEN I WAS IN A WHEEL CHAIR AND MET SPIDER-MAN.. I HAD THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON THIS MF AND YOU CAN SEE ME CASUALLY TRY TO ROLL CLOSER HIM i’m sobbing and my stomach hurts from laughing   -i had a pretty bad knee injury and couldn’t walk that’s why i had a wheelchair - 

i have an addiction to caesar salad wraps. anyways how are y’all doing today???? < 33333

getting a ball sac- i mean hairless kitten today : D her name is doja so she’s doja the cat : DDDDD