ToManyFandoms07

I understand you have lent me a branch to grasp onto as I try to pull myself a float. I’m just scared it will snap if I take hold, weighed down by the unbearable weight of the world that seems to cling onto my shoulders.

ToManyFandoms07

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I want to scream that I tried, 
          
          That I tried to fix this,
          
          I tried to reverse what I had done,
          
          I tried to get rid of this guilt that is trapping me,
          
          I tried to fake a smile and stop the tears that just keep falling,
          
          creating a pool of misery that I can't seem to find the strength to swim out of.
          
          
          
          I want to say that I tried,
          
          That I tried to be the perfect daughter,
          
          I tried to be better when being myself wasn't good enough,
          
          I tried to crawl out of this whole that my mind has put itself into but am unable to find my way through the darkness that seems to swallow the light, leaving me no place to go to.
          
          
          
          I want to screech that I tried to fix what was wrong with me,
          
          I tried to put myself last so you could be happy,
          
          I tried to get over this anger and hate,
          
          tried to get over the pain that laid beneath it like an assassin in the night that cut me until there was nothing of the old me left.
          
          
          
          I want to say I tried.... but suddenly.....
          
          Trying isn't good enough.
          
          
          Honestly when I wrote this I was angry, I was mad at the world and all the bullshit it put me through. Though rereading this now... im sad. Hurt. I feel as if my heart got ripped out of my chest and I dont know what to do with the pieces. What Im trying to say ig..... is that trying seems to be taking a lot more out of me then sitting and doing nothing has ever done.