ToedBus26

@rubaurfruby yeah okay I'll read it

@rubaurfruby I'm glad I can be of much help but I'm really just playing around at JK Rowling sandbox and I'm doing this as completely fanfiction. But I want to Branch it to a bigger audience

@ToedBus26 ohhhhh  I'm really  thankful for your  opinion , I will really work hard now as u say thanks a lot , u know these points u said , somewhere hitting my mind too , and thanks for pointing out

@rubaurfruby Hey! Wanted to drop some more thoughts on your novel since you asked for genuine feedback. The core concept is definitely there, but here are a few areas that could help elevate the execution to a more professional level:
            Immersion and Atmosphere: The story would benefit a lot from focusing on the physical environment—adding more descriptive spacing, lighting, and atmospheric detail to make scenes feel lived-in and immersive, while cutting down on visual clutter that breaks the reading flow.
            Relationship Pacing: Instead of diving straight into the spicy scenes, let Irha and Sarim actually build a real relationship first. Give them space to get to know each other organically. Keep the chemistry simmering, but let it be a slow-burn connection.
            Irha's Ambitions: Ground her character more in her own personal goals and independence. Show her striving for her college education, chasing a top-tier scholarship in America or a multi-degree scholarship in France, wanting to travel the world, and keeping her eyes on returning home eventually.
            Sarim's Motivations: For the male lead, he doesn't need to be the wealthiest or most powerful guy around. It's much more compelling to lean into his humanity—maybe he has material success, but feels empty inside, making his dynamic with Irha feel a lot more grounded and real.
            Keep working on the polish and craft. Congrats again on the milestone, and keep pushing forward!