TomiokaConRosas

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NICKY WHAT THE FUCK IS FHIS

TomiokaConRosas

this message may be offensive 
A confusing feeling is when I lay down on my bedroom floor at 2:38 AM, listening to Mac Demarco to forget about some of my troubles. I realize I have no troubles, but then again I feel invalidated and forced to feel as if I can’t have troubles. I want my head to go blank, I don’t think that’s possible with my girlfriend being stuck in it. As of now, I am just writing what I think. Heart to heart is playing, I want to relate to a song really badly. I don’t want to relate to it negatively but I can barely find a comfortable song I can positively relate to. I just want a wlw song without it being sexual/mature. Happy Nicky with a girlfriend. Overthinking sucks. Writing what I am thinking at the moment feels good. But when I’ll read it all when I’m done, it’ll be confusing. But that’s fine because I write her for myself. I feel like my friends are distancing themselves. I’ve found new friends. They’re great. I always feel bad when a friend starts to distance, or when I do. But there’s that one friend who will forever be my #1 best friend. Even if we don’t talk. I love the cardigans. Mac Demarco is my comfort. I want to listen to him with my partner. My partner is great. I love her and she loves me too. I think she told me once that she makes sure I know that. I feel loved, but sometimes I want her to use MY love language. It’s selfish of me, asking too much when I have enough. I am so tired. I love my friends. I hate making my friends sad. Is there something wrong with me? Why am I writing what I think. I feel like it’s funny. I am so tired. I will read this now. What if I confuse myself. I bet in the morning I’ll look back thinking what the fuck was going through my head between 2:38 to 2:48 AM.