『 failing is my forte 』

hi another life update! im in love now but theyre also in love with me so its great! life is actually not too bad!!!!!! ive genuinely never felt this loved and cared for in my life and its such a great feeling :') i have to stop myself from proposing to ethan literally every single day because i just love him THAT much and want to spend the rest of my life with this insanely wonderful person whos also really hot like holy shitwaht teuf kck it doenst amkek any senn se hOW do i edesvevre wusch a ahot erpse on what hel p
          
          basically every problem i ever had is okay now save for a few that cant be fixed that easily and im highkey lowkey proud of myself for working hard and making progress in such a short amount of time! hehe im winning at life now

just a random life update because idfk i logged into this account again so why not,, also i don’t want to leave everything off on such a weird and bad note since life has changed since then lol
          
          i’m now p much a straight a student and i’m okay enough with life!! what an improvement waawwww,, i’m a lot healthier overall, and even though i still experience nightmares and terrible things from past traumas (as well as insomnia still oops), i feel... better? as if i’m slightly more okay with myself. it’s great honestly lol because i feel like i can be more
          myself around others rather than trying to do what i think others would find normal and all
          
          so yeah basically tldr i’m great now and i make near perfect grades since i moved lolololol
          
          ofc i still deal with the struggles of having my dreams stripped away from me and not being able to continue with my passions,, but i much prefer that rather than being stuck somewhere i hate with people who hate me as well, wondering if i’d still decide to keep going tomorrow or if it would be my last,, i can breathe now 
          
          oh also i’m like legitimately full time in love with stray kids as well so yeah lololol
          before it was kind of a mix but now it’s just.. skz own my entire soul p much

so i managed to get all my grades up to a b and one a BE SI DES geometry hadhkadhnd i have an f

haahaaaaaa my grades are terrribllleee and i’m worried i’ll have to repeat the entire year :] my life is over, i hate it here

if my grades don’t go up, im going to have to repeat the year. my progress is gone. i’m no longer better.

i got to see her and i’m so glad that i did. we both got strawberry & lime slushys with tapioca... and i think that was the best drink i’ve ever had. it really helped to see her the short hour i did, because it allowed me to feel pure happiness for a while. i am better.

i’m happier because i get to go home and see my best friend and her and i can play spring day together again just like we used to and i can play the piano horribly but it’s okay because she’ll put her head on my shoulder and we’ll just be horrible together and be a big mess of giggles and smiles and silliness

i have quite a few story ideas actually... i just can’t find the courage to start writing again... i feel like i took too long of a break from everything to be good. i suck at composition, i suck at learning languages, i suck at writing... it’s all the same really

i think i’m getting okay-er as time goes on

And I think I've been so sad recently that I don't have any sadness left. It's more of an emptiness now, but anything is better