You foolish mortal, you dare come onto my page simply to get a closer at my profile without even looking into my personality and said profile?

HOW DARE YOU!?

Do you know how many Drarry smuts I have consumed to feed the gay Harry Potter Stan within me!? The amount of lemons I have witnessed cannot be described but unholy and supreme. 

After years of reading these ancient unholy scrolls I've gained abs harder then fucking steel. My dick has grown to a whopping 38 inches all from watching Shrek get out of his mud bath. My ass cheeks don't clap but my balls surely do. 

The damn dragon in that movie couldn't even handle my long dinaling of a shlong. Donkey wishes he could get a taste of this long salty sausage to go with his waffles, only to be denied.

So yes, as you see; I am superior to your tiny 3 centimeters hiding within your pants. My dick is as strong as a kangaroo tail and I can use it to stand up above it. I can literally do push-ups with the damn thing, so get on your knees and beg for your life cause we're about to have a sausage fight.