I would like to retract my previous statement of doing, or more so, feeling mentally better. As people know, I joined this app when I was only ten years old, and now, I am Thirteen and turning fourteen this August. Since joining, I have had my fair share of ups and downs in my mental health, mostly for short times. However, on April 18, 2022, I had one of the worst depressive/suicidal (?) episode and came back nearly half a year later on October 21, 2022, to announce my own mental recovery. Later, though, I stopped taking antidepressants as I just didn't need them anymore. I was happy and content. Don't get me wrong, I'm still happy and stuff. But now, for some reason, I am at the lowest point mentally, and I just see no end to it. I'll sit and think about the point of my own mortality, the significance of hanging out with my friends if all I'm going to do is forget about them. I loath myself because I simply can not understand myself. And that is the worst part of it, that it's seeping into my own personality, that being my anger, and I find myself more irritable and getting angry at people who simply do not deserve it.
A lot has changed, too. Like always, I'm still in all of my honor classes, ELA and math being my strong suits and, as usual, have all A's. But I no longer play my beloved clarinet. Instead, I play a basson that I cherish dearly and has carried me into many special events and opportunities within my band's extra activities. I've improved in my arts and have had the honor of being chosen to participate in an art show. Above most, though. I don't want to die or hurt myself anymore (though whatever I'm doing to myself mentally, though unintentionally, is most likely far worse than self-harm or being suicidal).
