Falted Hope

Time, the only thing killing us.
          
          Change, the one thing that can help or break us.
          
          Happiness, the one thing that can hold value or none.
          
          Sadness, the one thing that can make us become different.
          
          Rage, the one thing that can blind out hearts.
          
          Desperation... What is it?... The feeling of deepest desires of needing something or someone.

Who knew the chance of reviewing yourself in the mirror vehemently just needs the satisfaction of pure exertion of one's view.
          
          I candidly revulsion how I was and who I am now. Yet, its the path that was forged by destiny itself. One's extreme rage can only die down but never be extinguished unless they force themselves to extinguish it. 
          
          I was never ok, no one bothered to ask. I told myself I was never fine with the burden that burns in my mind and my benevolence. Who knew having so many issues could resolve into more issues and useless sons of bitches.
          
          I'm in the central zone of the "in-between" of sterling within many different emotions. Sometimes I want to end it, sometimes I just want to let go but that burden still burns, I want to care yet I would fade from a smile into pure annoyance and anger with disgust. It's not that I don't want to let go, its the only thing that pain has to the connection I felt when I genuinely cared.
          
          
          I wanted help but to myself I didn't need anyone when I did but the voice in my head keeps telling me to keep lying about myself and my wellbeing. The strain of the aftermath just puts me in a state of "Can't care enough for anything" with having a fake smile 24/7 that I want to make into a genuine one. 
          
          Anyways, time to disappear to discord again.
          
          So here's my discord if anyone wants to talk.
          
          "toxemicfox30790"
          
          

Imagine becoming so enraged being blinded by your own aggressiveo that it pushed a person away for many reasons and still not knowing what to do and shit. Becoming enraged by something so little can fuck your something to vent in a matter of seconds when your holding in so much anger and hate.