Hi Jonghyun,
It's hard to believe that it's been three days since your passing. It feels like it happened so soon, yet so long ago at the same time. I really want to thank you for everything that you've done. You've saved my life twice now and I'm sure you've done the same for others! You gave me an outlet to cope with loneliness, sadness and confusion, and I'm so sorry that no one could do the same for you. There are so many things I regret after your passing. I especially wish that I had been a more devoted fan, that I would have just watched one more silly video, or added one more video to my playlist, or recommended you to one more person. It haunts me that I didn't. I know that we must live in the now however, I only know that thanks to you! You truly always have been an angel. I see your smiling face in Christmas lights and hear your voice in jingle bells. I wonder if you can see all of us too, if you can hear us thinking about you and listening to your music. That must make you really happy. I'm so sorry that no one on this Earth was capable of stopping you from putting yourself in so much pain, that we couldn't return the favor. I truly hope that you're happy now. Singing and putting on a show up there, away from the stress and sadness that this world put you through. God, strike me dead if I somehow ever forget this man and all that he's done. Those silly videos, it'll be hard to look at them with the same smile ever again, for a long time there'll be an emptiness inside of us and around us. Trust that one day, when we've found the strength, we'll fill that space up with your smile, your voice, your laugh. You never know how much you love someone until they're gone. I'm so sorry, Jonghyun. You did so well and worked so hard. I love you, I miss you. Goodbye, Jonghyun.
